When Carol arrived at the idea of attending Le Cordon Bleu, she demonstrated what she’s always demonstrated – vision. When she actually sent in her application, she demonstrated bravery. And, when she traveled to England - sans famille - she demonstrated enormous drive. At no time did she exhibit “fear,” although it might surprise her to hear me say so... Along the way, she would ask me if she was just having a midlife crisis. I never really saw that, but I had been pretty dumb to not recognize and equally appreciate the weight of life change that she was pondering before committing to such a pursuit. I had been too swept-up in the inertia of my daily work to consider the changing picture that had her up at night... Carol wasn't having a midlife crisis, but she was having a very intense midlife “critique.”

We all get lumps in our throats and butterflies in our stomachs. We have to process these feelings and choose a path. Those feelings alone do not demonstrate “fear” to those who know and love us. Fear will render a person completely immobile if he or she allows it to, tempting us to “stop and play dead” to avoid something we perceive as a large predator. For Carol, that predator was a three-headed monster:

1. Her kids leaving the nest and finding herself obsolete,
2. Living a life that could never measure up to the experience of being a mom, and
3. Potentially living that life as a widow after experiencing the death of friends' husbands just in their 40s...

Action-Driven versus Fear-Ridden

The potential for these outcomes did not render Carol immobile. Her first response was not to ask, “How do I keep things just as they are?” A person with the kind of “vision” that Carol has does not ask those kinds of questions. No, the questions that plagued her day and night were more like, “Where do I go from here? What do I do to remain creative? Vibrant? Impactful? How do I live independently if Clay is gone?” These are not “fear-based” questions, though they can be easily mistaken for such. These are “action-based” questions. These questions result from “drive” not “fear.”

Carol is brave because she “chooses” to put her best foot forward along life's path - despite uncertainty. Carol is strong because she “chooses” to press on until the job is done - and then looks on to the next one with determination. Carol chooses a path that God has blessed, can bless, and will bless - blessings that a person who chooses to remain stationary cannot experience. Carol knows this. Carol lives this. Carol will remain creative, vibrant, and impactful.

Congratulations, My Wonderful, Beautiful Bride.